


Let 'Em Know; Rock 'n Roll

by destibelle (MissTonyStark)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ):, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But They All End Up Back Together, Castiel is a badass, Established Gabriel/Sam Winchester, F/F, F/M, Gabriel Being Gabriel, Gabriel and Sam Are Sneaky Bastards, I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK FOR THIS ONE, Lucifer Is An Amazing Big Brother, M/M, Mpreg Eventually, Musician!Castiel, Musician!Dean, On Hiatus, Past Character Death, Past Relationships, They Just Want Everyone Happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 01:59:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1840177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissTonyStark/pseuds/destibelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They started out in a band together after an accidental meeting in middle school thanks to their dating brothers. They lasted all through high school but when their musical tastes began changing after graduation they split and went in different directions. Castiel Novak went to Los Angeles and Dean Winchester went to Dallas for their own record deals. The break up between the two left it's own rift in their hometown of Lawrence, Kansas but the families were beginning to cope with it. When Adam and Sam join Dean's band and Lucifer and Gabriel head off to be with Castiel everyone thinks it's the end of the legacy the Novaks and the Winchesters were forming together. After three years of keeping out of contact but constantly keeping up with everything going on, the two groups meet at the Carolina Rebellion with the help of two meddling brothers and Castiel shows Dean that just because he isn't hard rock or heavy metal doesn't make him any less rock 'n roll than any of the other bands he performs around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Come, Come; Kitty, Kitty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IDontUnderstandThatReference](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IDontUnderstandThatReference/gifts).



Present Day ~ May 6th 2014

Lucifer and Castiel stood facing each other doing vocal exercises as they prepared for their show that night. Gabriel sat on a barstool in front of his mirror strumming his guitar softly as he hummed the notes along with his instrument. The three brothers looked up briefly as their drummer; Charlie Bradbury, walked into the room. She winked at Gabriel who smirked before resuming his playing; Lucifer and Castiel exchanging confused looks but shrugged it off and just continued practicing. Charlie leaned over Gabriel's shoulder and whispered something to him that the other two couldn't hear but they put that off as well figuring they were plotting world domination through LARPing again. Lucifer stopped to check his watch and after seeing that it was half past seven, he pushed his youngest brother towards the back of the room to help him get an outfit together. As the frontman for the band, Castiel had a certain image to uphold and he never disappointed his fans but that was usually thanks to one of his band mates helping. After screwing around with ideas for about fifteen minutes the two finally decided on a ripped up pair of black skinny jeans that hugged each of Castiel's curves like a second skin, a bubble gum pink spaghetti strap tank top, and a black half vest. He wore a pair of pink and black Vans sneakers that were adorned with shiny fake gems on the side and little elastic pink and black bracelets around his wrist, his normal necklace; a silver Treble clef, hanging around his neck, and the same silver band that matched his brothers' on his right middle finger. Almost all of his tattoos were exposed; the infinity symbol on his left wrist, the angel wings that started between his shoulders and went down to the ends of his ribs, a trail of pink hearts that trailed from his left hip bone up to the tips of the wings on his ribs, a Treble clef behind his right ear, the Zodiac signs of him and all his siblings behind his left ear and going down his neck, Hello Kitty on his right bicep, a Dalek on his left thigh peeked through the rips in his jeans, and the TARDIS on his right thigh. His waist-length raven hair was curled in it's usual ringlets, half of it pulled up to keep out of his face. Charlie motioned for Castiel to join her at the make-up table and he sat like he always did and allowed his best friend to doll his face up. When she was done, his eyes were heavily lined in black eyeliner and eyeshadow with a hint of pink right about the creases of his eyes, black mascara to add length to his already dark lashes, a light shade of pink adorned his lips topped by a sheer gloss. He checked himself in the mirror once before standing and letting his brothers observe once, of course getting their approval before he skipped towards the door and waved.

"I'll see you guys in five!" He laughed, closing the door behind him. Once the remaining three in the room were positive that Castiel was down the hall and out of ear shot they all huddled back in the changing area.

"You're sure that Dean and the others are gonna be here; at this club? Tonight?" Lucifer asked, stripping down to his boxers and going through the outfits on the hanging racks. Gabriel nodded his head as he followed his brother's lead.

"I spoke with Sammy. He said he'd make sure that they're all here to see us tonight." Gabriel replied, slipping a purple tank top on. "He's as tired of this as we are. It's been three years and he says Dean is still moping around over their break-up." Charlie rolled her eyes as she stood there in her gray skinny jeans and bra with her hands on her hips.

"May I remind you guys who was there when it actually happened?" She asked, shutting the brothers up and then resumed searching for a shirt. She finally settled on a black t-shirt with the words 'Thunderstruck' and 'AC/DC' written on it. Lucifer had chosen simple, wearing a pair of dark denim jeans, a plain white t-shirt that hugged his form perfectly, and his black biker boots. Gabriel added a pair of white skinny jeans to his outfit and stepped into his low-top Hawkeye Converse. When they all finished dressing they quickly applied eyeliner and chapstick and left the room, heading towards the backstage area. Castiel must have just stepped out onstage because the crowd was going absolutely wild. The group of three jogged the rest of the way to their destination just as Castiel stepped in front of the microphone and began a song.

 _"Min'na saikō arigatō, k_ _-k-k-kawaii, k-k-k-kawaii._ _"_

Just as the first line had finished Lucifer picked up his electric guitar and began strumming, Gabriel joining him not long after on bass, and Charlie sat at her drums. Castiel already had his guitar hanging from his shoulder on it's strap and was strumming gently where he needed to. He picked up quickly on the next part of the song, both hands on the microphone when he wasn't playing.

_"Mom's not home tonight so we can roll around, have a pillow fight. Like a major rager OMFG! Let's all slumber party like a fat kid on a pack of Smarties; someone chuck a cupcake at me! It's time for spin the bottle, not gonna talk about it tomorrow; keep it just between you and me. Let's play truth or dare now, we can roll around in our underwear how every silly kitty should be!"_

Gabriel looked around the crowded club and finally spotted the pair of hazel eyes he had been looking for, smiling as his boyfriend pointed next to him. A rush of relief ran through his body as he laid eyes on Dean Winchester. As the pre-chorus and chorus of the song came up, Gabriel leaned into his own microphone and sang harmony with Castiel as his little brother jumped up and down to the beat excitedly, dancing as if he had not a care in the world.

_"Come, come; Kitty Kitty. You're so pretty, pretty. Don't go Kitty Kitty, stay with me. Come, come; Kitty Kitty. You're so silly, silly. Don't go Kitty Kitty, play with me."_

Little did Castiel know that tonight he may be facing his problems head on; problems he'd been carrying around for three years.

 

Flashback ~ July 18th 2011

"I swear, Castiel, you get more and more difficult to deal with everyday!" Dean could be heard yelling from upstairs in his room. Sam and Gabriel rolled their eyes; their brothers were fighting again. It wasn't anything new, it was actually a daily occurrence now and had been for about a month. Ever since graduation, actually. Instead of hearing them continuously yell today though, Gabriel and Sam heard the bedroom door open up and slam closed, followed quickly by someone coming down the stairs. "Castiel! I'm sorry, please come back!" Dean called after opening his door back up. Castiel turned around, his blue eyes furiously glaring in the direction of the older teen, tears threatening to spill over the edges. His short black hair was unruly from constantly running his fingers through it while arguing with Dean, and his face a light shade of red as he held back his anger. It had been a long time since Gabriel had seen his little brother this upset and all he wanted to do was take him home, tuck him away in his room, and protect him from anything and everything but he knew that Castiel wouldn't let him. He sighed, kissing Sam's cheek before letting go of his boyfriend's hand and taking a step towards the youngest of his family.

"Cassie, we should just-"

"No! I'm not letting this _assbutt_ ruin your day with Sam. I'll walk home, it's not that far anyways. You stay here and spend time with your boyfriend. I'm obviously not important enough to mine so I'm done." Castiel interrupted Gabriel before he could even finish his suggestion. With a sigh and a nod, Gabriel agreed knowing that trying to say otherwise would be like trying to fight with a brick wall. He would lose; horribly. And probably come out of the argument bloody. Literally, Castiel didn't take shit from anyone. Now that he was thinking about it, he was actually kind of surprised that Dean wasn't bloody. He hummed to himself for a moment before taking his brother's hand and walking him to the door. They hugged, said their goodbyes and Castiel waved to Sam with an apology written plainly on his face. Sam waved him off with a smile and once the door was closed, he turned his attention to his older brother only to find that the other teen had gone back into his room. That was strange in itself because usually when Dean stormed off to his room there was a slamming door to let everyone know where he was. Gabriel told him to go check on Dean and he would meet him back in the kitchen before placing a kiss to Sam's lips and turning to head back to where they had been before the fight. Sam walked up the stairs and knocked on his brother's door but was met with silence. He quietly peeked inside the room only to find Dean laid flat out on his stomach on his bed with his face buried in his pillow. Sam could tell by the slight shaking of Dean's shoulders that his older brother was crying and as much as he wanted to help, he knew that he would be refused and that Dean would want his personal space right now. He didn't like crying in front of anyone, especially Sam. Dean only came down that night to make dinner for himself, Sam, and Gabriel and when Gabriel went home he found out that Castiel had come home and cried himself to sleep. He made a couple of PB &J sandwiches and went up to his baby brother's room and let himself in. Castiel was still asleep on the bed, curled up with one of Dean's hoodies and Gabriel felt bad that he was going to wake the other male up, but he knew his brother needed to eat. Gabriel set about his task and it didn't take much to wake Castiel, just a couple shakes of the shoulder and he soon had food shoved in his face while he curled up on Gabriel's lap. They laid there quietly watching reruns of Doctor Who episodes; freaking out when the Weeping Angels were first introduced, crying when Ten changed into Eleven and yelling at the TV when something would go right over someone's head. It was well past one in the morning when Castiel fell asleep again, cuddled up to Gabriel's side as the older teen held his little brother tightly in his arms. They had always been the closest growing up as well as being the closest in age. Castiel was 18 and Gabriel was 20, he had always been able to go to his older brother for anything he may have been curious about, if he needed something, whatever. This was no different; Castiel had gone through something heart breaking today, the only thing was this time Gabriel went to Castiel to comfort him instead of waiting for Castiel to come to him.

 

Flashback ~ July 21st 2011

Castiel threw his suitcase in the trunk of his Expedition, making sure everything was packed neatly. Gabriel, Lucifer, and Charlie had all already put their things in and Castiel was the last to finish loading up. He closed the trunk with a sigh and turned to look across the street, seeing the Winchester brothers along with their half-brother Adam, Jo Harvelle, and Danielle Singer packing up the trunk of the Impala. A lone tear leaked from Castiel's eye as he watched Dean move around the car to check tire pressure and make sure it was safe for their own trip. He had been so caught up staring that when Charlie laid a hand on his shoulder it made him jump.

"Charlie?" He asked, wiping his eyes. The redhead smiled softly at him before bringing him into a hug.

"One of these days, honey. You guys will be okay and we'll all be making music together again." She whispered as she pressed a kiss to his temple. "One day you'll show him that you're rock 'n roll, babe. You don't have to be Metallica or AC/DC to be rock. We'll show them all."

 

Present Day ~ May 6th 2014

After the show Castiel bowed to his crowd with a bright smile on his face. He saw a few familiar faces, but he didn't let it bother him because he knew they were there for the same concert that all the other bands were. Tomorrow he was going to show them all exactly what he was made of. He earned his place in this industry and worked just as hard, if not harder, than most of the other groups at the Rebellion to get where he was and he'd be damned if he was going to let anyone else walk all over him and his band. He walked backstage where he met his brothers and best friend by the changing room. He huffed out a laugh before they all gathered up together for the after performance group hug they always shared. Charlie gasped lightly as she pulled away, her eyes fixed on something behind Castiel's back. Lucifer smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest and Gabriel just all out ran off laughing. When Castiel joined everyone in looking around he covered his mouth as he attempted to stifle a scream. It came out pretty muffled but everyone knew it had been him. Lucifer was hugging Danielle Singer; his hands a little lower on her waist than they should've been but they had been an item in high school so it wasn't unusual to see. Charlie had leapt into Jo Harvelle's arms and was kissing all over the blonde's face. Gabriel was almost sobbing into Sam Winchester's shoulders as they held tightly to each other. Adam Milligan stood next to Dean Winchester as they whispered things to each other, things no one else could hear. Castiel almost let tears flow freely before he realized he didn't want to give Dean that satisfaction. He was having an inner battle with himself before Gabriel finally pulled him out of it with his next words.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that?" Castiel asked, making sure he was actually hearing things correctly.

"Are you all ready to go to dinner? We're having dinner together, the two bands. Y'know, spending time catching up, things like that." Gabriel replied, throwing a wink Charlie's way. Castiel scrubbed his face with both palms before shaking his head once more. He still wasn't sure he heard his brother right.

"Wait, what?"


	2. And Two Goodbyes Led To This New Life

"You honestly think that you could mash-up our songs? You think your piano crap will mix well with the amazing riffs that I wrote?"

"See, Dean that is exactly what your problem has been since day one! No one is ever gonna be able to write anything better than what you have!"

"That's because what I write is actual rock music, Castiel. Not some sissy shit that people are gonna hear on the pop station." Castiel huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest, a smirk coming to his face as he watched his ex down the last of his beer.

"If you think you're stuff is so much better than mine, let me mash the songs up. Let me have an hour to mix up verses, to put it in octaves I know we both can agree on; just give me an hour and I will show you that our music can still work together." Dean quirked an eyebrow as he stared at the only man he'd ever truly loved. He sighed before setting his empty beer bottle down.

"When we get back to the hotel you have an hour." Castiel fist bumped with Gabriel before letting out a drawn out "yes!" as they stood from their places at the diner booth. Lucifer and Danielle had been engaged in their own conversation; Charlie and Jo had just been watching the argument as a source of entertainment and Sam had just shaken his head, still unable to believe that even after three years all Dean and Castiel could do was argue. Gabriel and Castiel decided to take a cab back to their hotel to get to work, Gabriel promising to time Castiel's work while the rest of the group remained at the diner to enjoy some dessert. The hour passed by quicker than any of them had expected, but they all finally began making their way out and down the street; walking back to their hotel since it wasn't more than ten minutes from where they had been. All the bands at the Rebellion were staying in the same hotel and as if the fates hadn't been jerking them around enough, the two groups had apparently been booked right across the hall from one another. When they reached the third floor, everyone hushed their talking as they listened carefully; it was muffled, but they could all hear Castiel singing from their room as two guitars were strummed and a piano played in the background. The silence remained throughout the group as Lucifer slid his card key into the lock and opened the door. Their eyes landed on the brothers sitting on Castiel's bed, both of them had their eyes closed as they played acoustic guitars and sang just loud enough to be heard over their instruments. When the brothers finally noticed their band mates standing in the room, they smiled and set their guitars down and Castiel turned off the synthesizer he'd been using to write the piano part. Dean took a deep breath as he watched his ex-boyfriend stand up and cross the room to return his guitar to it's case. He exhaled heavily before letting the words slip from his mouth that had been running through his mind since they arrived. "Let's go." He almost mumbled. The entirety of everyone turned to face him.

"Huh, what?" Sam asked, taking Gabriel's hand as the smaller man joined him.

"To the stadium; let's go." Dean spoke again, zipping up his leather jacket as he turned and went back out the door. Castiel quirked an eyebrow at Lucifer and only received a shrug in return.

"I have no idea." The oldest Novak replied.

An hour and a half later, the two bands stood backstage of where they would be performing the next day. It was the small names that had been playing that day and with it being almost midnight, the Rebellion concert was probably coming to a close for that night. Dean left the group behind for a moment to go talk to the stage manager and after what looked like a few minutes of persuasion, Dean smirked and pat the man on the shoulder before handing him what looked like a couple of hundred dollar bills. The band that had been on stage began making their way off and Dean waved his friends over. Adam and Sam looked slightly worried at what their brother may have done. Jo, Charlie, Danielle, Lucifer, and Gabriel all felt excitement while Castiel alone wasn't quite sure what he was feeling. He hadn't spoken with Dean in over three years and now, here he was getting ready to make music with him again when that had been their problem all along. Castiel's music was never hard enough for Dean; he was never "rock 'n roll material" as Dean had said the last time they spoke. The stage manager had walked out front and began speaking to the crowd; Castiel had only caught the tail end of him announcing that the two bands were going to collaborate for one last song of the night and he felt his heart drop down into his stomach. Butterflies began to take over all of his insides and if he concentrated hard enough he would've sworn that Mothra was making a cameo. He gulped almost audibly as Dean waved them all out onto the stage. This was the last thing he had expected from Dean when the night had started off with them at dinner. As soon as the group came into the light the crowds went absolutely wild. A piano was rolled out onto the stage, all the way up to the front and Dean led Castiel to sit at the bench.

"Lucifer and Danielle; I want you guys on lead guitar. Sam and Adam have rhythm, Gabe; stick with bass and Charlie, you stay on drums. Jo and I'll cover the acoustic and Cas will play his piano. We all know each other's music and we heard what Cas and Gabe were playing long enough to pick up on what verses came from which band's song." Dean gave them all a smirk as they took their places and he lifted his guitar strap over his head. He pulled a barstool over to sit next to Castiel and took a seat after adjusting his microphone.

"Show 'em what you're made of, Cassie." Charlie said, her eyes meeting her best friend's. Castiel nodded, took a deep breath and let his fingers drift across ivory keys for a few measures before leaning forward to sing.

_"Love that once hung on the wall used to mean something but now it means nothing. The echoes are gone in the hall, but I still remember the pain of December. Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say. I'm sorry it's too late."_

In the next few beats it took to get to the chorus, the entire band joined in and Dean leaned into his mic to harmonize with Castiel. Their voices still melded together as if they were meant to be one, they both still closed their eyes to listen to the other and take in all the sounds surrounding them. It was as if the three years they had spent apart never even happened. Everyone from their band mates to the people in the crowd were in complete, utter shock as they continued singing, the world around them beginning to fade.

_"I'm breaking free from these memories; gotta let it go, just let it go. I've said goodbye, set it all on fire; gotta let it go, just let it go."_

Castiel continued the press on his keys as Dean took the next verse, strumming his guitar with everything he had. His voice was still the same raspy, deep enchantment that Castiel would never get enough of. It had been like that since the first time he heard Dean sing; it had trapped him from the very beginning and even after being away for an extended amount of time, Castiel knew that he was going to be in love with him for the rest of his life.

_"You came back to find I was gone and that place is empty, like the hole that was left in me. Like we were nothing at all; it's not what you meant to me, thought we were meant to be. Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say. I'm sorry it's too late."_

As they sang the chorus again, Gabriel, Lucifer, and Sam all leaned in to vocalize softly behind their leaders. Nobody really know how to take what was happening; it was all so familiar but absolutely and completely new all at the same time. All the combined group could hope for was what they had set out to do when Sam and Gabriel originally had made these plans; and that was getting their two frontmen back together. If Castiel and Dean somehow could make up then everyone could be together again and that's what they all needed. They all needed to make music together, they all needed each other's support, they needed this. There was something about the entire group being in one place, playing the same music that just gave them all peace of mind and it's what they craved. This is what was going to work Castiel and Dean out of their three year long break up; the song they were singing. Their combined music that was once again working together and not completely clashing, the beautiful sounds that they all created together. This was going to work.

_"I'm breaking free from these memories; gotta let it go, just let it go. I've said goodbye, set it all on fire; gotta let it go, just let it go."_

_[Castiel]: "I let it go..." [Dean]: "And now I know."_

_[Castiel]: "A brand new life..." [Dean]: "Is down this road."_

_[Castiel]: "And when it's right," [Dean]: "You always know."_

_[Castiel]: "So this time..." [Dean]: "I won't let go."_

_[Castiel]: "There's only one thing left here to say; love's never too late!"_

Castiel and Dean both looked at each other as they came together for the chorus one last time; it was barely there but it lasted long enough that even people in the crowd could see it. The spark had reignited. Finally.

_"I've broken free from those memories; I've let it go, I've let it go. And two goodbyes led to this new life; don't let me go, don't let me go."_

Castiel blinked once, trying to get the tears to fall so his vision would stop blurring. Blue eyes met with green ones as everyone else stopped playing their instruments and let Castiel continue with his piano for another few bars.

 _"Won't let you go, don't let me_ _go."_

When the song finally ended, Castiel and Dean both stood; Dean setting his guitar down wherever he could so long as it freed his hands. They stood in front of each other, staring into one another's eyes as if they finally understood. All that time they spent trying to one up was nothing but attention getting. All they had ever wanted was each other and as that finally dawned in their minds, they moved at the same time. Castiel's arms went around Dean's neck and Dean's arms wrapped around Castiel's hips. They held each other close, foreheads pressed together as theirs breath mingled and their eyes closed; they stood there basking in the love they had found once again. Castiel pulled Dean down and whispered into his ear before kissing him the words that they knew would become theirs...

_"Won't let you go, don't let me go."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since I didn't give credit in the first chapter, the song that Cas sang in that one is "Hello Kitty" by Avril Lavigne. and the one they all sing in this one is "Let Me Go" by Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger. (:
> 
> sorry for my lack of updates. internet was cut off. ;~;


	3. Just Put Up A Middle Finger To The Sky

Flashback ~ July 21st 2011

Castiel walked across the street when he saw everyone but Dean go back into the house for their last goodbyes; he kept his hands buried in his pockets in an attempt to look casual. Dean turned around just as the smaller teen approached him and crossed his arms with a frown on his face. "What do you want, Cas?" He asked, trying to keep his facade in place.

"Are we really going through with this, Dean...?" Castiel asked, his normally bright blue eyes dull.

"What do you mean?"

"Is this really happening? We've been together for seven years and it kinda feels like we're just... I don't know..." Castiel ran a hand through his short hair, making it even more unruly than it usually was. "It feels like we're just throwing it away." He sighed heavily. "Over a petty argument I know we could work through if we just tried."

"Castiel, I can't write, play, or make music with you anymore. You've gone a completely different way than I'm going. I have a record deal with a totally different label than you do and there's no way they'll accept your style. I love you, I honestly do, but I have a dream I want to fulfill here. This is what I've wanted to do my whole life and I can't give it up because you're too petty to change."

" _I'm_ the one being petty, Dean Winchester?! I gave up _everything_ to be with you! I didn't go to MIT to pursue my career in biochemical engineering because you  _begged_ me to stay after graduation. _I had a full ride!!_ I gave it up to be with _you_! I told my parents to fuck off when they said they didn't quite agree with me being gay because I didn't want to lose you, your family has always been accepting. The only reason I wasn't thrown out of my house is because my siblings all defended me. I learned how to work on cars because you wanted us to have something to do together, I learned how to bake apple pies for you, I always let you trash talk my lyrics and my piano playing and everything musically associated that I did because I love you and I was willing to put up with it to be with you, but now I'm the one being petty?!" Castiel's eyes were overflowing with tears by the time he was trying to catch his breath from yelling. His hands had made their way out of his pockets and were balled up at his sides. Charlie had heard the yelling from across the street and jogged her way over to her best friend. She laid a calming hand on his shoulder and Castiel turned his head briefly to make sure that it was who he thought it had been. Charlie gave him a sympathetic look. The raven haired teen turned to look back at his now ex-boyfriend and seethed for a moment before finally saying the last thing he had been working up the courage to say. "Fuck you, Dean Winchester. Fuck you and all your stupid rock 'n roll stereotypes and your stupid guitar lessons and every single goddamn thing about you that I fell in love with. I'm so beyond done. When I'm famous, I'm going to show you that just because I'm not one of your 'classic' type bands doesn't make me any less rock than you. I'm going to outshine you in every way possible and I'm going to make you eat your words. _Fuck. You._ " And with that, Castiel turned on his heel, his best friend Charlie in tow and they both made their way back to the house across the street leaving Dean standing there dumbstruck. And those were the last words they would say to each other for a long time...

 

Present Day ~ May 7th 2014

 

Castiel took in a deep breath as he closed his eyes. He played with the silver band that rested on his left middle finger and felt a bubble rising up in the back of his throat. He wasn't going to throw up, he never did no matter how sick to his stomach he may have felt before a performance, but it never seemed to stop the nausea that hit five minutes before he had to step on stage. It had been a while since they had played at an event this large. Carolina Rebellion was no joke; he peeked through the crack in the curtain and saw the crowds of people that stretched on for as far as he could see. He gulped softly, clutching his guitar in his right hand. Lucifer chose that moment to join him. The older brother placed a hand on his younger brother's middle back and rubbed gently for a moment before patting his shoulder. "I feel like I should be more than what I am to be able to sing in front of them." Castiel sighed. Lucifer chuckled softly.

"You are more than what you give yourself credit for, Cas. You fought hard to get us where we are and you've fought even harder to keep that spot. We are where we are because of you." He said as he pulled his youngest sibling in for a hug. He kissed the top of Castiel's head before letting go and gave him a good natured punch to the arm. "Get out there and show them what you're made of." Castiel felt a smile come to his face as he nodded. He watched his older brother walk back to where their other band mates were before turning back to face the front. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, held it for a moment and exhaled; the nausea faded away and he opened his eyes with a smirk before throwing the curtains open and hearing the crowd scream and cheer for him. He threw a fist in the air as he walked up to the microphone and laughed happily. He brushed a stray hair out of his eyes before making sure his ponytail was still holding up, his curls falling down over his shoulders even with his hair pulled back.

"So, before we get started, I had some stuff I wanted to say..." Castiel had to take another deep breath as the crowd hushed. "For three years I've held a grudge. For three years I've performed with every intention of trying to get ahead of someone that had once meant everything to me and at times I succeeded, sometimes I fell behind, but with every passing gig or music video; for every hour I've spent in front of a crowd or in a recording booth, or practicing my guitar, whatever I've done I've learned that what I'm doing is not to prove something to someone else but to me. When I graduated high school I had a full ride, I was completely paid for in scholarships and grants to go to MIT for biochemical engineering but music was something I wanted to pursue with the man I had been involved with..." He felt tears stinging his eyes as he heard his band mates joining him on stage and getting set up. "Music has always been a big part of my life, but Dean was the reason I actually went for it. I felt like I was betraying all of my fans by never really acknowledging just how much you all meant to me by supporting us through everything and that's what this is boiling down to." Finally, Castiel smiled at his crowd as a lone tear made it's way down his left cheek. "You guys are the roots in us. I never say thank you enough and that's what I'm doing now. Thank you, every single one of you; people here at the Rebellion, people at home, people all over the world who support us you mean everything to us. Our fans are what keep us going, so thank you." When Castiel finished, the crowd was quiet for a moment and it had him frightened, but it only took a few seconds before everyone burst into cheers, clapping, catcalling, whistling; anything they could to show their appreciation for the band on stage. "This song is for you guys!" Castiel laughed into his microphone as he grabbed onto it. Gabriel, Charlie, and Lucifer all leaned into their own mics as they shouted the first line of the song. Castiel grabbed his guitar and began singing right afterwards, pouring his heart and all his emotions into his lyrics, wanting everyone he was performing for to know just how much they really meant to him.

_"Let 'em know that we're still rock 'n roll!"_

_"I don't care about my make-up, I like it better with my jeans all ripped up! Don't know how to keep my mouth shut, you say 'so what?' what! I don't care if I'm a misfit, I like it better than the hipster bullshit! I am the motherfucking princess, you still love me!"_

The next part of the song went back and forth between Castiel and his band mates, starting with them singing a line and him following. For the first time in a performance, Castiel actually had a decent amount of guitar playing and he closed his eyes, concentrating as he sang and strummed at the same time. He was going to prove to Dean today that he was every bit as good as him.

_"Some-somehow,"_

_"It's a little different when,"_

_"I'm with you,"_

_"You know what I really am,"_

_"All about,"_

_"You know how it really goes,"_

_"Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah!"_

_"Some, some way,"_

_"We'll be gettin' out of this,"_

_"Town one day!"_

_"You're the only one that I,"_

_"Want with me!"_

_"You know how the story goes."_

_"Oh, oh, oh."_

When the chorus came up they all sang together but Castiel stopped strumming for a moment and began clapping his hands above his head to get the crowd to join in and within seconds the whole area was clapping along with the beat of the song. Even backstage Dean, Sam, Adam, Jo, and Danielle were persuaded into giving in. When he had to play again, Castiel placed his fingers on the frets and picked up where he was needed at, singing loudly with his brothers and best friend as their voices raised up high and filled the surrounding area with music and emotion.

_"When it's you and me we don't need no one to tell us who to be, we'll keep turning up the radio. What if you and I just put up a middle finger to the sky; let 'em know that we're still rock 'n roll!"_

_[Castiel]: "Rock 'n roll!"_

_[Gabriel, Lucifer, & Charlie]: "Hey, hey, hey!"_

_[Castiel]: "Rock 'n roll!"_

_[Gabriel, Lucifer, & Charlie]: "Hey, hey, hey!"_

They rolled right along into the next verse where Castiel quit playing again and began doing his trademark made-up on the spot dances to his lyrics; just cute little movements like shoulder shrugs or making faces at people in the crowd or even a little bounce of his hips to the beat of the song. It was something he did just about every show they did and it was something that his band mates always looked forward to because every time it was something new.

_"Call it a bad attitude, dude; I'm never gonna cover up that tattoo. I might have a couple issues, you say 'me too!' yeah! Don't care about a reputation, must be living in the wrong generation! This is your invitation, lets get wasted!"_

_"Some-somehow,"_

_"It's a little different when,"  
_

_"I'm with you!"_

_"You know what I really am,"_

_"All about."_

_"You know how the story goes,"_

_"Oh, oh, oh."_

When the next chorus came up Castiel did the same thing he had done in the first, clapped along with the crowd until he reached the point where he needed to play his guitar again. He was actually better at this dual tasking thing than he originally thought he would be. Internally, he laughed at himself as a smile settled into his features. This was what he loved doing and he realized that he didn't need to prove himself to Dean. Hell, he didn't need to prove anything to himself anymore, he knew he was happy and he was content with that. After the bridge that followed the chorus, Castiel swallowed quickly before looking down at his guitar and began playing a solo he had never done live before but caused almost everyone except the rest of his band to damn near gasp in shock at the realization of how much skill he actually had with the instrument. Dean was probably the most stunned of them all. When he had met Castiel the only things he played were piano, violin, and flute. They had started working on guitar lessons but... things happened and they never really got around the much of that, so he didn't know that the other man had actually kept up with learning. Apparently he thought wrong.

_"When it's you and me we don't need no one to tell us who to be, we'll keep turning up the radio. What if you and I just put up a middle finger to the sky; let 'em know that we're still rock 'n roll!"_

_[Castiel]: "Rock 'n roll!"_

_[Gabriel, Lucifer, & Charlie]: "Hey, hey, hey!"_

_[Castiel]: "Rock 'n roll!"_

_[Gabriel, Lucifer, & Charlie]: "Hey, hey, hey!"_

Castiel turned to the left to look at Dean as he sang the first part of the last chorus alone before being joined by Gabriel, Charlie, and Lucifer both in voice and in intruments. Their eyes met, just as they had the night before and they both still felt it. The spark that was bringing everything back into perspective, the love that had never truly died between the two of them. They shared a smile before Castiel finally turned back to face the crowd and they all picked back up at the same time, singing and playing the last few bars of the song together like they had practiced for the past few months. Everything was falling into place again and that was what really mattered.

_"When it's you and me we don't need no one to tell us who to be, we'll keep turning up the radio."_

_"What if you and I just put up a middle finger to the sky, let 'em know that we're still rock 'n roll! When it's you and me we don't need no one to tell us who to be, we'll keep turning up the radio. What if you and I just put up a middle finger to the sky; let 'em know that we're still rock 'n roll!"_

_[Castiel]: "Rock 'n roll!"_

_[Gabriel, Lucifer, & Charlie]: "Hey, hey, hey!"_

_[Castiel]: "Rock 'n roll!"_

_[All]: "Hey, hey, hey!"_

And that's how love was born again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's another Avril song. "Rock 'n Roll". it's the one that completely inspired this entire fic.  
> you should have a listen. :D
> 
> also, gonna apologize for the lack of creativity in this chapter. I really, really wanted to use this song cause it was the entire inspiration for it, so I felt I needed to have Cas sing it. I promise that the next chapter is where we're gonna start getting places. another also, we're gonna start getting some background on things that happened while Cas and Dean were together, like some of their fights and whatnot, but I'm also gonna have some flashbacks to what happened in the three years they were apart and then some drama will probably happen and I know someone is getting knocked up and for the love of god, I have got to work on my rambling. however, if anyone has ideas they would like to throw my way, please do. I need fillers. I also need a couple flashback ideas. I have a few, just not what I want. anyways. much love to those of you who are continuing to read my work.  
> I especially wanna give much love to my best fraannn who this fic is for~ IDontUnderstandThatReference, you are a doll. <3


	4. I Never Quite Knew How To Handle You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more flashbacks here, we're getting into some of the stuff that happened in the past.

Flashback ~ October 29th 2005

"Gabriel, really, I trust that you're boyfriend is cool and all, but you don't have to drag me to your band practice. I spend plenty of time practicing for band, I don't need to deal with yours." Castiel almost whined as his older brother practically drug him down the street by the hand. The walk home from the library was becoming more eventful than Castiel had planned.

"Cassie, you have to live a little. You've been in middle school for all of three months and have only made one friend. Come meet some of mine." Gabriel laughed, bringing Castiel up to his side and wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

"But I have to study for a test, Gabe. I don't have time for this."

"Studying is for nerds." Gabriel paused a moment before leaning over to flick his little brother's black framed glasses. "Oh, wait. You are a nerd." He chuckled and then kissed Castiel's temple. What resembled a pout came to the younger boy's face as he allowed himself to be hauled around a corner onto a different street. "Sammy-Sam is the best. He's your age and in your grade, so you might actually know him."

"Sammy...? You mean Sam Winchester?" Castiel asked, finally interested in the conversation.

"Yep! That's my Samsquatch!" Gabriel laughed.

"He's my age? Holy wow, that kid is like, a billion feet tall. He's giant." Castiel gawked as he remembered the boy from his science and history classes. "They call him Moose at school."

"I know." Gabriel replied, removing his arm from his brother's shoulders and putting his hands in his jacket pockets. For October, it was unusually chilly. "Sam has been telling Dean everything I've told him about you and he's been dying to meet you. Both of them have, actually." Castiel felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. "He's not supposed to be home tonight, though. Sam said he's off on some study date with Jo Harvelle and Victor Henrikson." Another pout came to the younger boy's face as he shoved his freezing hands into the front pocket of his Def Leppard hoodie. Castiel knew all about Dean Winchester. He was on the football team, the starting quarterback if he remembered correctly. Guys and girls alike wanted him and Castiel was almost ashamed to admit that he was amongst that mass of people. He'd only seen the other teenager a couple times since he started school; Dean was one grade above him so they didn't share any classes but they had the same lunch period. Castiel's class went for lunch about halfway through Dean's so he saw him every once in a while seated with his friends. Gabriel came to an abrupt stop in front of the house right across the street from their own, interrupting his little brother's thoughts and causing the smaller boy to walk right into him. "Jesus, Cas, watch yourself, yeah?" Gabriel laughed as he stopped Castiel from falling backwards.

"Sorry..." Castiel mumbled as another blush crept up his face from embarrassment. They walked up to the front door where a woman with long blonde hair opened it and welcomed them in happily.

"Gabriel, it's nice to see you again!" She said with a full smile, hugging the older Novak. When they separated, she eyed Castiel. "This is the youngest one, right?" She asked with a small chuckle.

"Yup! This is my baby bro, Castiel. We all just call him Cassie, though." Gabriel replied as he introduced his brother. Castiel held a hand out for the woman to shake.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Winchester." He said softly.

"Mary, honey. Please call me Mary."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Gabe!" Came a laugh from the stairs. All their attention turned towards Sam Winchester, who was jumping off the last two steps and jogging over to hug his boyfriend. He pressed a kiss to the youngest Winchester's cheek as they held onto each other for a moment. When they pulled away, Sam looked at Castiel. "Hey, Cas. It's nice to see you outside of school." He said, patting the shorter boy's shoulder.

"Likewise." Castiel replied. He was keeping his answers short, sweet, and polite due to his lack of knowledge of these people. He never really got around the making friends in school so he never had other parents to meet. Except Charlie's mom; the woman was constantly demanding she see her 'blue-eyed angel' at least once a week. Charlie Bradbury had been the only friend Castiel had managed to make since he started his sixth grade year and that was fine by him as far as things went. He never really understood the need to be popular like his other siblings were, he was perfectly content with having one best friend instead of trying to keep up with too many. Just as the three were getting ready to head up to Sam's room, the front door opened and their attention turned back to see who was there. Emerald green eyes met sapphire blue as Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak locked gazes. It had been a complete accident, but somehow it felt like it was meant to be.

"Uh, hi there... Gabe." Dean almost stuttered over his words, his eyes still stuck on Castiel's.

"Dean-o, this is Castiel." Gabriel wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulders again. "He's my littlest brother."

"H-hi, Castiel." Dean tried not to let his voice squeak and ended up having to clear his throat before saying anything else. "That's uh, that's a mouthful of a name you got there." He chuckled, trying to save face. "I'm just gonna call you Cas."

"Th-that's, uhm. That's fine." Castiel replied, tucking a stray hair behind his ear. A light pink blush began dusting his cheeks as he turned his eyes downward. Dean smirked, walking over to the steps to stand in front of the smaller boy.

"You doing anything, Cas?" He asked, his hands in his jean pockets.

"I'm supposed to be watching them practice." Castiel replied, nodding his head towards his brother and Sam.

"I'll join you!" Dean laughed and then began hopping up the steps two at a time. It took a moment, but the other three followed suit and all filed into Sam's room where Dean was sitting on the bed with his legs crossed and a guitar in his lap. "What all do you play, Cas?"

"Uh, violin." The dark haired boy replied. "Violin, piano, and uhm, flute. I've been interested in guitar for a few months but I've just not picked it up yet." Dean jerked his head towards where he sat.

"C'mere. I'll give you your first lesson."

 

Present Day ~ May 7th 2014

 

Castiel laid in his hotel bed on top of the blankets, still in his clothes from the concert with his arms folded behind his head. His eyes were closed, he had studio headphones over his ears as he blared his music, and was currently trying to drown out the world. It was almost midnight, the concert had ended not too long ago and he was dead exhausted. He knew he needed to take a shower, but his need to relax for a few minutes had overtaken the desire to stand up any longer so as soon as he had entered the room, he had flopped down face first onto the bed and kicked his shoes off. Gabriel and the others were out partying with Dean and his band to celebrate the success of the Rebellion so he was taking every opportunity to have his alone time before his brothers and best friend beat down his door in a drunken stupor to force him to drink with them. The song he had been listening to finished and he sighed, removing the headphones and sitting up. Castiel looked around his room, eyes landing on the black and pink suitcase laying across the couch and stood, walking straight to it before pulling out clean pajamas and underwear and then headed straight for the shower. He turned it up as hot as he could stand it and stripped down, then stepped under the spray and sighed as the water relaxed every tensed muscle in his body. His long hair was plastered to him, all the way down to his navel as he just stood there letting the water beat down on his tired frame. After about five minutes of nothing but standing still, he washed his hair and body and stepped out, wrapping a towel around himself and looked in the mirror. He had bags under his usually bright blue eyes; apparently the make-up had been hiding them from him and his skin was a little more pale than usual. Even being red from the hot shower, he could tell. He dried off as quickly as he could before stepping into a pair of hot pink boy-shorts and then pulled a t-shirt over his head. It was black, well worn, and had AC/DC written but faded on the front. Castiel grabbed a handful of the shirt and brought it up to his nose and inhaled deeply. He had been doing this for way too long; keeping Dean's old band shirts and spraying them with the cologne he knew the man wore. It was a comfort thing, but he knew it was sad. He ran a brush through his hair and braided it and then threw it over his shoulder so it trailed down his back. When he climbed back into his bed, he checked his phone. It was twelve-thirty and he had yet to hear from anyone. Being the motherly type that he was, he typed out a text to Gabriel to make sure they were alright and cuddled up under the comforter. He had an old blanket thrown over top of the hotel blankets that he used to use when him and Dean would sleep in the back seat of the Impala. He reached over onto the nightstand and grabbed the TV remote before beginning to flick through the channels and stopping on an Oxygen marathon of Snapped. For some reason he always found these true-story crime shows interesting and he would watch them for hours on end just to be picked on by his brothers. Charlie would sit with him and watch so she never had reason to pick on him about it. It was finally around two when Castiel passed out, his phone still in his hand while he waited on a response from Gabriel that never came. He was jostled from his sleep about three-thirty when someone climbed into bed with him and wrapped their arms around his hips. He could smell whiskey; everything else was dulled by the scent of the alcohol. His initial thought had been that it was Charlie because she would sometimes crawl up with him when she was drunk, but it became obvious quickly that it was a male behind him and the only logical answer to that would be Dean. Castiel quickly flipped over, his eyes still heavy with sleep as they met with forest green. "D-Dean!?" He gasped, a bright blush coming to his face.

"Cassie-Elle." Dean chuckled softly, leaning forward to press a kiss to Castiel's nose.

"What are you doing in here?" The smaller man asked, his voice soft.

"I miss you, Cas. This is where I'm supposed to be, not somewhere out there with some random chick or dude or whoever. I'm s'posed to be in bed with you." Dean's words slurred slightly as he spoke, brushing stray hairs behind Castiel's ears.

"You're drunk, Dean."

"I may be drunk but I do know how in love with you I still am." With that said, Dean surged forward, claiming Castiel's lips as the other man gasped. Their eyes closed and everything became hazy and heavy with lust as hands started roaming over planes that hadn't been explored in three years. Dean pulled his mouth away from his lover's and began trailing sloppy kisses down Castiel's jaw and throat before he reached the collar of the shirt and inhaled. "You're wearing my cologne." He chuckled.

"I-I kept your shirts..." Castiel started, but moaned softly between his words. "I kept them and I sleep in them. Just like the blanket." He finished as Dean's hands made their way to his hips. The older man pulled away for a moment to take in the sight underneath him, still halfway covered by sheets and comforters. He threw the covers off of Castiel, towards the end of the bed, exposing pale, smooth legs and bright pink panties with small wet spot on the front from Castiel's leaking erection. "I haven't been with anyone else." He felt the need to say it, to make sure that Dean knew he had been faithful, no matter how angry they may have been at each other. Dean smiled, cupping a flushed cheek in his palm.

"It's only been you, Castiel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah! cliffhanger, bitches! sorry for that, but I just had to quit before I got too far, lol. my brain is not completely ready to write another smut scene just yet, but I promise that you'll have something to make up for it next chapter. (: much love! <3
> 
> the title is taken from a line in 'On Your Side' by Thriving Ivory.  
> that's another good listen. (:


End file.
